It’s all well and good to talk about living the slow life when things are going well.

It is quite another thing to embrace the slow life when things go off the rails. You might feel like you simply CAN’T slow down, that it’s out of your hands.

There are things we can do when life gets crazy to help us catch our breath and slow things down.

Here are three simple ways to Slow Down when shit hits the fan.

1) Put on your own oxygen mask

There’s a reason they tell you this on the plane. It goes against our instincts, but it’s key not only for our own survival, but those who depend on us in a crisis.

If we aren’t ok, no one around us is ok.

Feel guilt about that? I got you.

Tell yourself it’s for your kids, your family, your pet chiuaua, first. It takes practice. Once you reap the benefits the guilt will go away.

Do whatever that looks like for you. What fills up our tank is different for each one of us. Don’t judge it, just getter done.

Don’t make a big deal out of it unless you want to. This isn’t supposed to be another stressful addition to your to-do list. Keep it simple.

Here’s some examples of quick ways to practice self-care when life gets crazy:

• Do 20 minutes of yoga at home
• Ask your partner to watch the kids so you can have an uninterrupted shower
• Take 15 mins to sit with a coffee someplace quiet
• Go for a walk
• Buy yourself flowers
• Exercise
• Call a friend

The key is to make it simple so that it is doable and can become a habit (and doesn’t end up just one more thing on your dreaded to-do list).

2) Say NO

Saying NO is the fastest, most effective way to put on the brakes when the world is spinning too fast.

It is also incredibly difficult and uncomfortable for most of us, especially women.

RELATED POST : The Number 1 Skill to Slow Down : Say No

Are you a people pleaser? Don’t want to let others down? Afraid they’ll think less of you? Will judge you? Think you’re lazy? Check, check and check. I had all the same fears. Buuuuuut . . .

• Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business. Let that shit go.
• Weirdly, saying NO clearly and early on usually will have the opposite effect you’re afraid it will. A clear, timely NO shows respect for yourself AND the person you are saying NO to.

If you say YES to something you don’t want to do or don’t have time for :

• You won’t do your best
• Things that DO matter will suffer

“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” – Gothe

It is OK TO SAY NO. Say that one out loud. Tape it to your bathroom mirror. Do whatever you need to do to make this your mantra. IT IS OK.

3) Be gentle with yourself

Slowing down is a process. It isn’t about meeting someone else’s expectations, reaching a specific destination or any of that. Self-judgement and criticism aren’t helpful.

Aim for Le Tempo Giusto : the proper pace – FOR YOU. You get to decide what that looks like.

Protect yourself from external expectations. Let go of comparison. Let go of perfection.

Remember: It’s not the facts of our circumstances that cause us grief. It is how we talk to ourselves about them.

Be mindful of that voice in your head. Make sure she’s being kind to you.

So, if life is spinning too fast, instead of telling yourself you’re failing, acknowledge that you can’t control everything. Anything, really.

Embracing the truth of our lack of control is the most freeing belief in the world.

So much of the stress in our lives comes from our attempts to control things out of our circle of influence. Letting go of the illusion that we can control everything frees up space, time and energy to focus on those few things that truly are within our control.

As for the rest, all we can do is summon all the grace and humility we can and keep moving forward.

There you have it. Three simple steps to slow down with life feels out of control.

How do you slow down when things move too fast?